Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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