a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
