no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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