I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
