I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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