the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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