And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
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