something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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