I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize