I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
