Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
how does that bad decision feel?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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