sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I will die if light touches me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
