Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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