Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
