when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
