Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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