Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
