is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
