Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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