Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
