Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
