I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
