Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
