And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
