He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize