Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
