im drinking this country out of the recession.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
