She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize