I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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