You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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