She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
