It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
