she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
