Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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