found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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