you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
