You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
