Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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