Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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