Sry I called you an 8
Tell her she can't have a vagina
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
