I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did I show you my penis last night?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize