What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
