Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Damn victory sex feels great
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
