We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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