He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize