I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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