No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
