Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
