i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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