Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
