Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
