Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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