I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
