I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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