I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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