i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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