her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
