Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
