I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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