oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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