college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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