he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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