there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
