well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
