Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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