The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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