Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
