Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
