Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
